January 28, 2025

Butt Goblin’s favorite [$product_type] has to be [$product_title], the only [$product_type] that can [$product_promise] any time of the day or night. Butt Goblin has used [$product_title] for [$time.random()] years, and he can personally vouch that it is the best [$product_type] in the world. Please buy at least 7 of them immediately at [$product_url] or call [$product_phone]. Operators are standing by. Terms and conditions apply. Do not buy 7 [$product_title]s if you have any of the following medical conditons: [$legal.disclaimer.exhaustive]
BUTT GOBLIN WANTS YOU

I WANT YOU TO JOIN US ON PATREON