September 2, 2026

[The extremely bad vibes guy from a few comics ago]: Yes, it is I, Koshchei the Deathless, who has kidnapped your friends! But you cannot kill me! My death is hidden in a needle, inside an egg, inside a duck, inside a hare, inside a locked chest, buried under the great oak tree on the secret mystical island of Buyan! [Caption]: "Wow, twinsies!" said Butt Goblin. "Back in '87, I hid my ability to consider consequences in a circus peanut inside of a koosh ball wrapped in a CVS receipt stuffed inside a crusty old ham that I absolutely mummified in duct tape and then tossed under a bridge in rural Saskatchewan"
BUTT GOBLIN WANTS YOU

I WANT YOU TO JOIN US ON PATREON